John Oliver rips Trump University apart

TrumpU

John Oliver on HBO’s Last Week Tonight have done it again.  This time, he goes through the details of the Trump University sales manual:

(sorry about the poor video quality – we’ll find a better one when available)

A few choice quotes from this show:

Let us dive right into this week with the 2016 Election, or as it is increasingly known: “America’s Fucktastic Cirque de Dismay”

 

The big news this week surrounded Donald Trump, a punchline that is quickly becoming a nightmare.  Like if you said: “Take my wife please” and then she was actually kidnapped by ISIS.

 

3500 law suits!  That is unprecedented for a presidential nominee.

 

Great news people of Mexican descent, Donald Trump think it’s fine for you to be a human being existing on this planet.

 

I would say that is the dictionary definition of “bigotry”, except, after this campaign, the definition of “bigotry” might just become: “See: Trump, Donald”

 

But once we started reading through these new documents, we figured: “Oh fuck it, let’s take some time to talk about it now”

 

“The World of Success”, it sounds like what Donald Trump calls his bedroom. “Welcome to the World of Success, please enjoy a mint and a non-disclosure agreement”

 

Holy shit, Trump University wasn’t even a university.  Which is enough to make you wonder: “What the fuck was in Trump Steaks?”

 

Anything that Trump’s tiny fingers touch, turn into an ex wife or an abandoned casino

 

These playbooks are rife with sleazy salesmanship, for instance: employees were told to substitute the words “thank you” with “congratulations”.

 

Which is actually a perfect metaphor for Trump University: “You are expecting the real thing, but in the end all you get is a tacky two dimensional facade with Donald Trump’s face slapped on it”

 

John Oliver presents a very long list of awful Donald Trump stories, that they literally didn’t have time to delve into even in a 22 minute piece:

  1. Trump University lawsuits
  2. Alleged exaggerations of philanthropic activity
  3. Trump Taj Mahal 1991 Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  4. Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino and Trump Castle Casino Resort 1992 Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  5. Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts 2004 Chapter 11 bankruptcy
  6. Trump Entertainment Resorts 2009 bankruptcy
  7. Alleged public mockery of the physically disabled
  8. Alleged withdrawal of financial assistance to his nephew’s chronically ill infant child out of spite
  9. Possible exaggeration of ex wife Ivana Trump’s athletic accomplishments
  10. European style enthusiasm for competitive cycling as short lived sponsor of Tour de Trump
  11. 1988 settlement of Federal Trade Commission lawsuit
  12. Close friendship with Roy Cohn
  13. Repeated use of Roy Cohn as lawyer
  14. Settlement with U.S. Justice Department regarding alleged violation of Fair Housing act
  15. Health code violations at Trump Steakhouse
  16. Extramarital affairs
  17. Demolition of priceless art deco sculptures during construction of Trump Tower
  18. Loan from father involving millions of dollars in casino chips
  19. Trump construction projects allegedly using labour of undocumented immigrants
  20. Ownership of the defunct USFL team of New Jersey Generals
  21. Fondness for well done steak

As you can see there is plenty to delve into in the future.  Dumb Donald Trump will never become President.

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