The Lincoln bedroom, 2:45am: *muffled thumps and screams coming from behind the door*

Secret service agent 1, standing outside the door: oh, he’s watching Maddow now. I just heard “msnbc is fake news”

Secret service agent 2: he should go back to watching hannity, at least then we could give him back his phone

Agent 1: speaking of, you did manage to get-

Agent 2: yeah, don’t worry. I snuck in while he was showering. He had 22 tweets drafted today, I made sure to get rid of them all

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