Trump: *presses button on his desk*

White House secretary, through the speaker: yes mr. president?

Trump: Linda, could you please direct Jared Kushner to begin drafting another executive order for me?

Secretary: of course mr president, what is the executive order supposed to be about?

Trump: I want to demand Nancy Pelosi turn over the articles of impeachment to the senate, so I can be aquitted already

Secretary: I understand sir, do you want me to send him into the Oval Office?

Trump, while adjusting his pillow and changing the channel from MSNBC back to fox: no, the Lincoln bedroom is fine

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