Lawyer: your honor, I move to submit the pistol recovered by the police last night as evidence. The serial number on the side can be tracked back to the defendant, who we have on video purchasing the weapon just a few days before the murder was committed

Judge: I’m sorry, but I can’t allow that

Lawyer: why not your honor!

Judge: well, the defense made the rules of this trial, and the rules state that no new evidence may be submitted without their approval. Sucks to be you, but you and I don’t make the rules

Lawyer: this is ridiculous your honor, the police uncovered the murder weapon!

Judge: well, if only the police hadn’t *looks at defense argument* conducted a “sham” investigation with “sham” subpoenas that resulted in “sham” charges, maybe they would allow it to be submitted. But they didn’t wait for a murder weapon, they charged him without one, so what goes around comes around *bangs gavel* not guilty!

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