New rules for the National Anthem

•must be played at least 4 times before every professional sports game, with a different singer and band each time

•every person within a half mile radius must stand, no exceptions

•any person sitting or kneeling within the half mile radius will be subject to arrest and deportation

•the line, “that our flag was still there” will be replaced with, “our great president trump is still in office”

•every person in America will be tested on the lyrics at least twice a year, maybe three times if I feel like it

•a photo of me must be present and enshrined with gold for every play through

•”O Canada” aka “the weak national anthem” is hereby banned from the United States. Sorry Canada but this is America!

•upon completion of the anthem every person who heard it must stain the flag with their blood to show true patriotism

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