JOB OPENING AT THE WHITE HOUSE
Do you want a fun, fast paced job working at the top of the federal government? Do you have a natural ability to lie your way out of a bad situation? How about a deep understanding of how to end justice department investigations? Is your name Sean Hannity? THEN DO WE HAVE THE JOB FOR YOU!
President trump (yes, everyone’s FAVORITE president) is once again in need of a fun loving, high energy person who is excited to be his next chief of staff!
We’re looking for someone, ANYONE, who has at least 6 months of experience working in high ranking government positions and who loves to come to work every day and tackle the challenges associated with running the greatest country on earth!
Tasks by the chief of staff include but are not limited to:
•proofreading the presidents tweets
•collecting/forging subpoenaed documents
•managing the presidents family members and their back door business dealings
•flushing out the deep state (IMPORTANT)
•coordinating stories between the president and his lawyer
•drafting and overviewing legal defense(s)
•a willingness to go toe to toe with the United States justice department
•a willingness to plead “not guilty” after going toe to toe with the justice department
Pre-screening for top level security clearance and access to a good lawyer is a huge plus!!!
Interested candidates should call Kellyanne Conway at (555)555-1234 and leave a message with your name, number, party affiliation, and a quick message on how great of a job president trump is doing making America great again! (No democrats)