August 7th, 2019. The US federal government has been shut down for the past 8 months. Congress just passed their 113th bill to supply funding, sending it to the president for a signature. Donald trump says he won’t sign it until they include $3 billion for “impenetrable sea wall defenses” and an additional platoon of ICE agents fully trained in the art of “tunnel hunting”. The last bill included $2 billion for training marine life to smell drugs. America is great again.

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