News anchor: in national news, Alabama took a drastic step to reduce abortion rates earlier today when the state senate voted 24-7 to send the “abstinence only” bill to the governor’s desk. The bill, which would require couples to obtain a permit before attempting to conceive a child, is designed as an attempt to reduce unwanted pregnancy by criminalizing any and all sexual activity in the state, including personal bedrooms and cars. If signed into law, first-time violators would receive a $500 fine if caught engaging “in any non-permitable sexual activity whatsoever”. A second violation, and any other recourring violations, would result in a 5th degree misdemeanor and up to 30 days in jail.

When asked about the bills passage, govonor Ivey was quoted as saying, “we all know abstinence is the only 100% guaranteed way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, and we hope this bill shows everybody how serious we are when it comes to preventing it”

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