So I was spending time with my fiance. We were…


So I was spending time with my fiance. We were having lunch and we started talking about Trump’s impeachment hearings. Anyway, we decided that it would be cool to watch some YouTube clips about it. So he gave me his phone and I opened up the app. I was ready to search for clips when his search history came up. “Talcum powder fart prank”. My heart sank. And I’ve noticed that my baby powder has been running out a lot quicker than usual. I don’t know what to do.

Sue him for $130,000 and make him sign a non-disclosure agreement

mr president when we invade the french what ar…


mr president when we invade the french what are we going to do about their harsh stance against programmed obsolescence?Look, programmed obesity is one of my biggest concerns. We can’t allow people to just program other people, that’s wrong. And we’re …

mr president what is your stance on dogs being…


mr president what is your stance on dogs being able to voteCanines, or dogs as I like to call them, should absolutely be able to vote. And if they vote for me they should get a treat, and if they vote for Joe Biden they should get investigated for vote…

If this is real: Fuck you and your presidency….


If this is real: Fuck you and your presidency. It’s been a waste. If not real: Hey man, congrats on the blogIt is the year two thousand and nineteen, I have ran this blog for over 4 years, and people still don’t know whether or not I’m Donald Tru…

Any plans for this blog the day you are not pr…


Any plans for this blog the day you are not president sir?The day Donald trump is no longer president is the day I can finally stop posting to this god forsaken blog

Mr. President Trump, what is the meaning of li…


Mr. President Trump, what is the meaning of life? You’re the smartest person ever, so I neeeeed you to grace me with your opinion.

The meaning of life is being on the 13th green at the beautiful Trump Mar A Lago™ golf Resort, with the sun beating down while your investor calls you to let you know your latest loan of $200 million has been approved. The perfect 10 on your lap laughs as you tell her that we can head out to pick out that new lambo you promised her last week. Meanwhile, the stock market has hit another all time high because of the new round of tariffs. America is great again

If airplanes are to complex to fly now, i gues…


If airplanes are to complex to fly now, i guess you’ll get to international meetings by boat. Or would you make them come to you?

Area 51 has a teleportation device in the works so I’m not too worried about it. As soon as that’s ready to go I won’t ever need to use Air Force one again

Trump isn’t charging tariffs on Mexico a…


Trump isn’t charging tariffs on Mexico and China. He’s imposing tariffs on the companies that bring goods to America from those places.And to compensate for tariffs like the ones on Mexican imports, the companies have to raise prices on the…