Trump: hey john, I think I left my hairbrush in your office. Do you mind if I go get it? John Kelly:…


Trump: hey john, I think I left my hairbrush in your office. Do you mind if I go get it? John Kelly: sure don, the door is unlocked Trump: *starts walking towards Kelly’s office*Kelly, shouting down the hall: but I made sure to lock the drawer I …

Trump’s lawyer: your honor, with all due respect my client cannot break any laws if the laws…


Trump’s lawyer: your honor, with all due respect my client cannot break any laws if the laws don’t exist *shreds a list of federal laws*Trump: we’re gonna be done with this by lunch

hockeylvr42: donald-trump-official: hikaru-kyan: donald-trump-official: Trump, while standing…


hockeylvr42:
donald-trump-official:

hikaru-kyan:

donald-trump-official:

Trump, while standing in front of the senate during his impeachment trial: so can you just tell me how much the settlement is already

The cost? Just your presidency.

How ab…

hikaru-kyan: donald-trump-official: Trump, while standing in front of the senate during his…


hikaru-kyan:

donald-trump-official:

Trump, while standing in front of the senate during his impeachment trial: so can you just tell me how much the settlement is already

The cost? Just your presidency.

How about $25 million and we’ll call it …

Conservatives: vote for Roy Moore because he’s represents CHRISTIAN VALUESJesus, while slowly…


Conservatives: vote for Roy Moore because he’s represents CHRISTIAN VALUESJesus, while slowly backing away: I don’t know these people I swear

Harvey Weinstein: *is accused of sexual assault*Conservatives: can you BELIEVE that someone who gave…


Harvey Weinstein: *is accused of sexual assault*Conservatives: can you BELIEVE that someone who gave money to Hillary Clinton did THAT?? What an awful person! Fire him! Lock him up! Roy Moore: *is accused of sexual assault and pedophilia*Conservatives:…

charlesoberonn: Concept: Donald Trump Twitter parody account that sounds like an actual president’s…


charlesoberonn:
Concept: Donald Trump Twitter parody account that sounds like an actual president’s twitter account with normal tweets that a normal president would make.
“To uphold the rule of law and the sanctity of the constitution of the Unit…

Trump’s lawyer: my client is the president of the United States, your honor. He enacts federal…


Trump’s lawyer: my client is the president of the United States, your honor. He enacts federal laws and is the chief executive. Such a position grants him immunity from certain things, like obstruction of justice and- *leans over to trump* what e…

Judge: mr trump, you said you knew that mr. Flynn had lied to the FBI and yet you still appointed…


Judge: mr trump, you said you knew that mr. Flynn had lied to the FBI and yet you still appointed him to your cabinet. Trump: I never said anything like that Judge: I have a copy of the tweet on my desk Trump: I don’t have a twitter